YOU ARE NOT MY PROJECT

​You are not my project.... I heard these words one morning last week during my prayer time after I’d turned a simple prayer of examen into an exhaustive list of all I thought God needed to work on in me. I am good at this.

​You are not my project... I knew this had to be a Kairos moment, but what flooded my mind was the array of DIY tasks waiting to be done around our aging house. From a leaky roof and torn aluminum siding to peeling paint and broken electrical outlets, the list seems to grow daily, at times leaving us overwhelmed with the enormity of it all. 

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​You are not my project... I pondered my spiritual journey as I waited before the Lord. Decades ago, Jesus pulled me from the mire of dutiful religion and set my feet firmly on the Rock of grace. Since then, he has gently stripped me of residual layers of legalistic performance. The roots of religiosity run deep. 

​God's message to me that morning was that he was not trying to fix me, that all the fixing I needed took place when Jesus died and rose again to make me new. What he wanted, indeed what God has always wanted, is the intimate companionship that comes in knowing him, the following that finds its fuel in the caldron of his love.  
Have you ever felt like a project? As if you are on some self-improvement podcast and God—the guest host—is determined to do whatever it takes to make you over? Does the list of what is frail or damaged or broken batter your fragile soul at times? Are there moments when you feel overwhelmed at the enormity of it all?

​Here’s the thing about assuming we are God’s project: We will always vacillate between pride (I got it right) and condemnation (I blew it again). In the process, we miss the marvel of a Father who delights in us, the miracle of the Son who wants to be our friend, and the power of Holy Spirit who waits on high to call our true selves into being.  God’s heart surely grieves when we substitute his precious gift of relationship for the good works we might do in his name.
You are not my project...  I heard those words that morning and asked: “If I’m not your project, then what am I Lord?” His answer was stunning in its simplicity. You are my beloved. I waited for him to say more, but God was silent. You are my beloved. 

​In 1962, a world-renowned Swiss theologian named Karl Barth was lecturing at the University of Chicago. During a Q&A session, a student asked him if he could summarize his life’s theological work in one sentence. He replied: “Yes, I can. In the words of a song I learned at my mother’s knee: ‘Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.”
And so it is. I am not God’s project, and neither are you. We are his beloved. May we ever learn to live in the wonder.  

DISCLAIMER: ​I can just hear some of you asking me things like what about growing or sanctification or putting off the old self? Valid questions! But you'll have to wait till next time for my thoughts on that.

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