My 91-year-old mom spends the night with us on occasion, and I’m embarrassed to say we’ve made her sleep on a 25-year-old mattress for far too long so a couple of weeks ago I ordered a new one. But then I made the mistake of taking a good look at that guest room and before I knew it, we were in the middle of a messy renovation. I say we because I dragged poor Joe into it when I started stripping wallpaper and realized what I was up against.

​In short, under the textured, painted paper that has adorned the walls for at least a couple of decades, lay a layer of white paint, and under that, another coat of vinyl wallpaper, circa 1980s floral.  I wish I could blame it on the previous owners, but we are the previous owners.

For days on end Joe and I picked and pulled and sprayed and sanded and scraped and tore those walls up, trying to ready them for a fresh coat of paint. DIY projects bring out the worst in Joe and me, and I’m pretty sure Joe got the bad end of that stick. But in one of my calmer moments, I commented how much easier it would have been had I done it right years ago, adding under my breath, “I feel a blog coming on.” Well, we finally got down to the nubs and after an amateur re-texturing job, were able to paint three walls.  I covered up the fourth with bead board—just didn’t have it in me to tackle it.

In the back of my mind I assumed I’d blog about personal transformation and how covering up or plastering over sinful patterns will only make things that much harder—you get the point.  But then George Floyd was killed by a Minneapolis police officer and our nation started coming apart at the seams.  Bedroom remodels felt inanely irrelevant in view of the collective pain and angst that poured out as people took to the streets to protest systemic racism in city after city. Looters and violence aside, there have been tens of thousands of protesters across the land—people like you and me—peacefully calling for change, almost nonstop.  I have felt undone. 

​The thing is, I did not want to write this blog.  Words are cheap these days, and as a white, middle-classed evangelical, the last thing I want is to be one more voice in a sea of platitudes that does nothing to facilitate change.  
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But then there was this wallpaper fiasco and the still, small voice I’ve learned not to ignore, whispering in my heart about a country that has papered over injustice for millennia, and has slathered on short-term fixes like that paint on my wall.  Brenda Salter McNeil, a African American, Christian professor and author, writes that catalytic events like the ones we’ve experienced these past several weeks can force needed shifts, but it isn’t easy, and will always first produce distress and chaos (Roadmap to Reconciliation, published by InterVarsity Press). 
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I came of age during the civil rights movement, but the reality is that we simply haven’t done enough of the hard work of digging through all the layers, of refusing to stop or give up until racial oppression is no longer palatable—personally, and in our cities, states and indeed, the world. I guess you could say I am writing this blog as a form of accountability—I do not want this to fade away and die down so I can go back  to a normal that allows a man like George Floyd to be killed as he pleads for breath.
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If you are like me, you find yourself wondering what you can do.  This is such a personal decision, but our pastor offered a simple acronym yesterday that I think we can all embrace.  It is time for a new ERA:

• EDUCATE: become a learner and teach your children well, determine to LISTEN to the stories of your black friends and neighbors—they have them, if you will just ask. 
• RELATE: Invest in real relationships with people of different ethnic or cultural backgrounds, the kind where you share meals and playdates with kids, and really get to know each other.
• ADVOCATE: Use your voice to influence just policies—from your local city council members to your state and national leaders. 

​I’ve thought a lot these past few days about the efforts at racial unity I’ve been a part of over the years, particularly within the church.  There have been powerful and meaningful experiences, and yet I do wonder what impact they have had. The lesson of my wallpaper is that there is no quick fix here, that it is going to be painful and difficult and at times it will feel as if we’ll never get the job done.  Yet we must press on.  In all honesty, I am not sure how, or what difference I can make, but I am leaning into prayer like never before, and listening more carefully than ever before, trying to understand what it means to be a broker of God’s kingdom in this moment.  

Joe was supposed to leave for France this Thursday to help strategize for a church plant we are doing there.  Last night we decided he better not go, given the outbreak of the corona virus there, and the fact that he is in the at-risk category.  I know everyone has an opinion on this pandemic and none of us really know who to trust, but that’s definitely NOT THE POINT OF THIS BLOG.

Before we had decided, I was working on getting him hand sanitizer, but of course, it is sold out everywhere, including Amazon!  That’s when I went online and learned how to make my own.  I found one with ingredients I had around my house, and I love it so much I’m going to share the link below.  Speaking of that, when you see the ingredients you might wonder why I just happened to have a Costco sized bottle of vodka. Seriously, not a drop of the stuff has ever passed the lips of this good old Baptist girl.  (Well, there was that time someone in our church served vodka slushes at a party in their home and Joe unwittingly drank a couple of them, talking all the way home about how delicious and unique they were, but that’s another story altogether.)  That is also NOT THE POINT OF THIS BLOG.
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​Sorry for the whiplash here as I move from vodka slushes to my Sunday morning prayer time.  I was praying about Joe’s trip, and I began to feel God speaking about the whole corona virus scenario.  In short, I felt him say that this could be the greatest opportunity we as a church have had in the past century to shine the light of his glory in a world where panic may become the norm.  And then I sensed him saying that it could be the precursor to the revival we have longed for, cried out for, pined for, petitioned for and pleaded for over the past two decades.  I am not a prophet and am not even suggesting that this a prophetic word, but these are the things my heart was sensing and I feel compelled to share them.​
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So much more could be said, but I’ll leave it there.  Before I share the link for hand sanitizer, let me say I have no tie to this website—I just liked the recipe. Do your own google search but I’ll forewarn you that most recipes involve rubbing alcohol, which is now also almost impossible to get.  Click here for the link. And if you have the Costco vodka hanging around too, now’s the time to use it!

For decades now I have focused on Jesus final hours during the Lenten season, and every year I am astounded at how God reveals new things and takes me to new depths in my grasp of the Cross and what redeeming love looks like.  

I hope you are on the journey this year!  Here are some resources to guide you: 

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DAILY LENTEN SCRIPTURES: From the beautiful "Passion" translation.  Click here.

​OTHER RESOURCES: Click here

Words can't describe how excited I am to share about this book by James Choung and Ryan Pfeiffer.  Not only does the hope of revival pluck continually at my heartstrings, but I am starting to believe we may be on the verge of an awakening like we have not experienced in decades.  I don’t say this glibly.  To that end, there couldn’t be a timelier guide than this book. I rarely review books, but I’m doing this for one and only one reason—to convince you to buy it immediately.  Find out why below.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I have known Ryan Pfeiffer since the 90’s when my own college son was rocked by Jesus through his influence at UCSD.  We have a long family history, and while that might make me biased, it also means I know that Ryan lives what he writes.  He is the real deal—I can promise you that!  While I don’t know James personally, I have seen his humble ministry, and his heart in the book will make you want to know Jesus more—is there anything better?

So many books on revival are inspiring and challenging, but they often leave us feeling pressured or inadequate.  We don’t know how to get holy enough, pray enough, find the right formula or do enough spiritual calisthenics to get the results others have seen.  This book will NOT make you feel that way.  Ryan and James share truth through the lens of their personal struggles and breakthroughs, and not once will you feel anything but hopeful as you read their stories. 
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​The book has three sections.  In Section one, the authors define revival, which is no small feat.  While their definition is incredibly simple, you could spend a month meditating on each phrase and still not plumb the depths.  In the second section, Ryan and James guide us through some components of revival, showing us gently but clearly what matters, and how we can press into these to bring about breakthrough.  In the final section, they offer immensely practical strategies for how to lead well, as God begins to move in power in our lives and contexts.  

If all you read was James and Ryan’s explanation of The Breakthrough U-Curve, you would get your money’s worth from this book.  Whether you want to see God work more powerfully in your family, your church, your personal life, or the world, this simple chart will help you understand not only where you are on the journey right now, but what you can do to move forward to breakthrough.  I found this extremely helpful, as it clarified, brought hope and increased my faith for revival in several areas.
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​On a personal note, this book wrecked me, albeit in a good way.  I was laid bare by the chapter on consecration, as they reminded me of what holiness is, and called me to a deeper, but costlier intimacy with Jesus.  I saw myself in Ryan and James’ stories and often had to pause and weep.  I am still being wrecked and that means that, though painful at times, I am seeing the beauty of Jesus in fresh ways.  What more could I ask for?
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​I'll end by thanking James and Ryan--not only for writing this book, but for living the lives that enabled them to do so with transparency and spiritual authority.  If I had the money, I’d buy this book for every person I know who wants more of Jesus.  If that is you, please, please, please get it for yourself right now.  Then take the time not only to read it, but to slowly ponder, pray and process God’s vision for breakthrough in your life.   Like me, as well as Ryan and James, you might find the going painful at times, but the gain for your soul will be beyond measure.  Purchase it here.

As a little bonus, watch below for a message on revival by Jon Tyson that has greatly inspired me.