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Tricia mccary rhodes

Binge Watching and haAgen-dazs

1/22/2018

7 Comments

 
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Last week Joe went to Ethiopia and I binge watched three seasons of cooking shows on Netflix and devoured three pints of Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond Ice Cream.  That’s just for starters.  They say confession is good for the soul, so there you go. Embarrassing?  Well, yes, but there was a redemptive quality to my downfall that I hope I can articulate here.

People at times ask me how our transition is going, but as I noted in my last blog, the word God gave me for this year isn’t transition, but rest.  How is my rest going?  That’s a tricky one.  First, I am a planner by nature, hard-wired to envision the future, to lay down tracks for myself and others who might appreciate the guidance.  When I’m not planning, I’m looking back, learning from the past so I can regroup to do better next time.  But in this moment, there is nothing to plan or organize, no ministries to oversee, no messages to prepare.  I am in transition, which seems like a perfect time to rest, right? Not so simple.

The sluggish pace surfaces insecurities about who I am when the doing stops.
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Rest, it seems, means learning to sit with the now, to embrace, experience, and enjoy it for all its worth.  But something in me resists.  The sluggish pace surfaces insecurities about who I am when the doing stops.  Empty spaces loom large, like a bottomless pit I must avoid.  It’s hard to rest when you’re on the run, even if from your own demons. 

The passage on rest that has spoken deeply to me these past few days is a warning the prophet Isaiah gave the Israelites.  The story was that Assyria was going to destroy them, and the best outcome they could hope for was years of captivity.  Their national identity was about to be obliterated, so it only makes sense they would look for solutions—like getting help from Egypt, Assyria’s enemy. I can imagine how outrageous God’s idea sounded to them:  “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15)

Four simple words: return, rest, quietness, trust—this was their mandate and the one I’m learning to immerse myself in as well.  Here’s my paraphrase:

Do you want to experience wholeness?  Then for now you must pull away and embrace the quiet.  Do you want to become stronger through the struggle?  Then you must learn to embrace the sobering stillness, and put your confidence in me alone.   

So, while my default is to pack every minute I can with busywork, to prop up my identity with productivity, God is calling me instead to sit with the now...

So, while my default is to pack every minute I can with busywork, to prop up my identity with productivity, God is calling me instead to sit with the now, to trust what is rather than what will be, to ignore the niggling doubts about my future and resist the futile assessing of my past.  This rest may be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but in some weird way, I can’t wait to see how it plays out. 

7 Comments
Janet Minnix
1/23/2018 11:40:00 am

This is so where I am right now. I retired after leading a women's ministry for 17 years, then spent the next two and a half years working on a master's degree. Now I feel guilty if I'm not busy doing... (I'm 78 so that factors into the mix, too.) Thanks for this post and for your paraphrase of the Isaiah passage.

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Tricia link
1/24/2018 06:22:17 pm

Janet, thanks so much for sharing--wow what a journey you have had. I do hope you find the joy in not doing and experience the graces God has for you in this transition season. You inspire me!!!

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Helen Sloan
1/23/2018 06:04:55 pm

This why us Martha's have a tough time, we really struggle with the blessed art of just resting. My walk with the Lord is often that choice between doing something for the Lord and really listening to what the Lord is doing. Love your blog. So real! Oh and I've never had Hagen Das but I do like Thriftys!!

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Tricia link
1/24/2018 06:25:21 pm

Helen, I remember you teaching us about Martha and how special she was to Jesus many years ago! And yes, that is the struggle--doing without really listening...
and I love Thrifty's too--Rocky Road!

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TeresaJones
1/23/2018 08:16:06 pm

Don’t know if you’re familiar with Lori Brown Harris @loribrownharris1 (Instagram), if you decide to check her out go back through a number of her posts. She is currently in the place you’re describing — rest, not doing, by no choice of her own. In March of last year her husband Thad, at the time a bi-vocational pastor, suffered some medial issues that put him in the hospital. Ultimate diagnosis of bipolar and possibly something else. Their lives have been torn upside down. She writes with such honesty and vulnerability. You can also check out her post describing what happened on loriharris.me May 3, 2017.

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Tricia link
1/24/2018 06:20:05 pm

Thanks for sharing this Teresa--I read their story and was deeply moved. So many ways God uses to draw us into rest...

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Gay Chat Oklahoma link
3/13/2021 09:25:12 am

Loved readiing this thanks

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    Tricia McCary Rhodes

    Author of 7 books and pastor of Global Leadership Development at All Peoples Church in San Diego, Tricia specializes in helping others experience God’s presence through practicing soul-care.   

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  • Blog
  • CONTEMPLATING THE CROSS
    • Daily Lent Scriptures
  • Resources
  • Website
  • books
  • Soul at Rest Book
  • Author
  • Contact
  • Season of Uncertainty