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Tricia mccary rhodes

The ER at Midnight: Practicing (and failing at) the Lost Art of Presence 

9/1/2016

9 Comments

 
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The young man sitting alone across from us held his head and cried like a baby, groaning in what must have been excruciating pain.  It was Saturday at midnight and we were in the ER after Joe had taken a tumble on the sidewalk playing tag with the grand-kids.  Although I’d been asking God daily to train me in the lost art of presence, I was completely unnerved by this situation. 

Surrounded by well over a hundred people—all in various states of sickness and injury—I felt something akin to panic.  Joe grimaced silently beside me, trying to find a comfortable position for what he said was the worst pain he’d ever experienced, while an elderly woman nearby threw up all over the floor as her son wiped her face, trying to help her maintain some semblance of dignity. The last thing I wanted to do was ask Jesus where he might be present in that room, or how I could be present to the hurting people on my right and left.

But there was that boy whose moaning I couldn’t ignore, so I finally stepped across the aisle and asked if I could pray for him.  He nodded, eking out a “nice to meet you,” and I put my arm around him, offering a brief plea for relief and peace.  I’m not sure it really helped.

But before I finish that story, let me explain a little about what I’m calling “the lost art of presence,” and why it has become so central to my spiritual journey.  Vocabulary.com offers a great definition of presence that pinpoints the essence for me:  "Presence is the state of being somewhere. When you get an invitation that reads "Your presence is requested,” you are being asked to show up
. "

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​So basically, presence means to show up for your life, to actually be where you are—not only physically, but mentally and emotionally.  I know, this sounds pedantic, but the reality is that practicing presence is becoming more difficult every day as our digital worlds expand and our devices eat up our attention like demanding children who won’t be ignored.  (For more on that, see my book The Wired Soul: Finding Spiritual Balance in a Hyper-Connected Age). 
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Of course no one demonstrated the art of being present like Jesus did.  I’ve learned so much from reading his encounters with others, but these three things in particular stand out:
  • Jesus listened for his Father’s voice: This is how he knew what to do, where to go and what to say, causing him often to behave in ways that defied reason, like stopping to chat with a woman who’d been healed by touching his robe, even as a teenager girl’s life hung in the balance (Luke 8:41-56).
  •  Jesus embraced the moment at hand: He never seemed to be in a hurry, no matter how pressing the needs that surrounded him.  He always took the time to fully experience everything about the people and the situations he faced. 
  • Jesus was sensitive to the underlying needs of others: He listened not only to the words people spoke, but to the hidden messages in their faces or body language.  He cared for people with an intensity and tenderness that was transformative.
Having taught on this topic recently, these thoughts were rifling through my mind as I sat in the ER for over four hours on Saturday night.  But truth be told, I was exhausted, anxious about Joe and not too interested in being present to others in that place.   

​Still, wherever we ended up sitting—after initial triage, after getting x-rays etc.—we found ourselves in proximity to that young man I’d prayed for, still groaning in pain, albeit with less intensity.  Yet, when I saw that his reading material was The Bible of Satan I felt even less inclined to get involved. Joe noticed as well, and began to pray under his breath, so I joined in, telling the Lord I agreed with whatever Joe was praying.  Although my heart ached for the boy, I couldn’t bring myself to do anymore. 

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I share this because I feel like I have more stories of failure than success in regards to being present to God’s plans and purposes for others he places in my path.  Yet God is changing me, and I am beginning to feel a deeper desire to engage with the world as Jesus did.  In some blogs to come I will share what that looks like, and what I am learning about the joy in store for us as we learn to show up for our lives and recover the lost art of presence.  ​

To watch a video of my teaching on The Lost Art of Presence​, click here.
To listen to an audio message of my teaching on The Lost Art of Presence, ​
click here.

Oh, in case you are curious, Joe ended up with a broken collar-bone and two cracked ribs.  I'm learning to be present to him in a whole lot of new ways!
9 Comments
Pete Peterson
9/1/2016 06:04:03 pm

Tricia -- take comfort in that when God called your name that night -- Tricia? -- you answered as any obedient soldier, or attentive student, or faithful Christian would: "Present!" Sometimes, that is all the courage and Presence we can muster, and he KNOWS that about us, and that may be all he is asking of us in that moment. Consider the times He called a follower, and they simply answered, Here I am, Lord. Abraham, Moses, Isaiah. Not bad company!

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Tricia Rhodes link
9/3/2016 07:26:03 am

Pete--I appreciate your perspective and encouragement. I find myself living in this tension of knowing what you say is true, but yearning for all God has for me. Knowing what that is isn't always easy!

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Barb Gowen
9/1/2016 08:46:47 pm

We should all spend some nights at the ER just to connect with humanity! But, alas, humanity is all around us! Lord, we want to be Your hands and feet to this hurting world!

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Tricia Rhodes link
9/3/2016 07:26:45 am

So agree Barb--ER just reminds us how broken we all are!

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Linda Hetherington
9/1/2016 10:09:16 pm

Tricia, thank you for your transparency.
Praying for your wisdom and patience as you nurse Koe back to health. Praying for Joe's quick and complete healing and God's hand in relieving his pain. Also praying against any demons who might attack your grand-kids causing guilt or shame for their presence in the accident.

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Tricia Rhodes link
9/3/2016 07:27:16 am

Thanks Linda!

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Malinda R Cooper
9/2/2016 01:30:40 am

So glad Joe is Ok! I miss you guys! I'm praying.
Jesus constantly tells me He is directing me. I don't always believe Him even though I try to.
I think it was His mighty plan for you to pray for this boy and in so doing this now many are praying for him!
God has a plan for this boy! He loves him so much!
I will continue to pray for fast healing.
Love & Shalom Malinda Cooper

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Tricia Rhodes link
9/3/2016 07:28:11 am

Malinda, what a beautiful thought. I hope many who read the blog pray for this boy and I agree God has a plan for him! We miss you too!

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Dee Maltby
9/3/2016 11:10:11 am

Hi Tricia. Yikes! I remember when Dan took a fall and had that same issue; broken collar bone and bruised ribs. He said it was SOOOO painful! So tell Joe he is not alone (even though that doesn't take away his suffering). .
I loved this posting Tricia. I'm there often. Thank you for encouraging us that sometimes showing up is all we can do (and that God placed you and Joe there to pray for this young man--whom God saw and loves may be part of what He was accomplishing that night. My desire is the same as yours in being present to the Father and others.

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    Tricia McCary Rhodes

    Author of 7 books and pastor of Global Leadership Development at All Peoples Church in San Diego, Tricia specializes in helping others experience God’s presence through practicing soul-care.   

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