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Tricia mccary rhodes

When you need a little reset

8/22/2020

11 Comments

 
My brother Chris took his last breath 15 days ago in a skilled nursing facility and by some shockwave of sheer grace, we were granted bedside access for two full weeks prior as he slipped into semi-consciousness. Grief, as anyone who has lost a loved one knows, is no respecter of persons or time.  It can go underground and then come crashing in--a rogue wave, tossing you around like a rag doll in its turbulence. This happened to me this morning as I was reflecting on my Scripture reading.

So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.  1 Peter 4:19

Theological disputes about God’s sovereignty and sickness aside, I watched my brother suffer terribly for almost three years after a stroke paralyzed and partially blinded him. In his better moments, he told me he was certain God had him in that place for a purpose, and in his final days, as nurses, doctors, aides, therapists and fellow patients streamed through his room to say goodbye, I understood the power of those four words, continue to do good. 
Picture
Family Christmas singalong circa 1960--the lifelong bond I'd have with my baby brother on display
Chris always loved people, but the stroke left him with an unusual brain condition dubbed la belle indifference—the beautiful indifference—that uniquely put this on display.  (You can read the story about that here).  After the stroke, Chris was brilliant, fun, savvy and sane as ever, with one exception—he could not connect the dots from the present to the future.  Like the proverbial Groundhog Day, he woke up most mornings with the sense that he had landed temporarily in the hospital and would get out soon. 
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So, through multiple illnesses, surgeries and ER visits, while enduring unbearable pain month after month, it seems to me that Chris just continued to do good--connecting personally with the lives of every person who walked through his door, insisting regularly that I take Joe out to dinner on him, sharing his snacks with the staff, and ordering birthday gifts on Amazon for me to give out to the family he loved.  Even in his semi-conscious state at the end, he labored to squeeze people’s hands or blink three times for I love you.  

So as I grieved and read 1 Peter again this morning, I felt a reset in my soul, a path forward that I think I can follow through the landmines of pandemics and presidential elections and civil unrest and upheaval like I've not seen in my entire life.  Continue to do good.
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I felt a reset in my soul, a path forward that I can easily follow through the landmines of pandemics and presidential elections and civil unrest and upheaval like never seen in my entire life.  Continue to do good.
PictureIn his final days
Such a simple mandate that flows through the pages of Scriptures:
Trust in the Lord and do good…Psalm 37:3
Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you…Luke 6:27
Jesus of Nazareth...went around doing good…Acts 10:38
Let us not become weary in doing good…Galatians 6:9
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people…Galatians 6:10
Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds…1 Timothy 6:18
Remind the people to be …ready to do whatever is good…Titus 3:1
And do not forget to do good and to share with others…Hebrews 13:16


The reset God had for me this morning was to remember how he treasures every little act of goodness I might extend—in my home, my neighborhood, on the road, in the grocery store or gas station or online.  In times when it feels like everything is being shaken and uncertainty is the new normal, this lovely little mandate will anchor my soul and correct my course--continue to do good.
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In times when it feels like everything is being shaken and uncertainty is the new normal, this lovely little mandate will anchor my soul and correct my course--continue to do good.

​Chris came out of his semi-conscious stupor for a few days at the end, laboring to mouth words or raise his hand or turn his head our way.  The last thing he said to me in his garbled, toothless whisper was “I sure do love you.”  Like a soothing balm, that moment and the sheer exertion of strength it took for him to speak, has comforted me through the grief.  It was his final act of goodness toward me, and one I deeply treasure.  Chris’s final years were brutal, and ones I would never wish on anyone.  But from him I learned the beauty of that simple command:  Continue to do good.  It was just the reset I needed today.

11 Comments
Connie Kennemer link
8/22/2020 12:58:39 pm

Tricia, I needed this today. A soulmate friend has cried out to the Lord for so long and continues to suffer at the hands of the establishment she works for (SDSU). I'm struggling to know how to encourage Patty when I can't trace the Lord's Hand at work either. She has multiple losses and this has become her new normal. Thank you for praying for me as I strive to encourage her to do good. CON

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Angie Bailey
8/22/2020 01:22:01 pm

Tricia, isn’t it incredible the force and power thru such pain and humility. Thank you for sharing. I will say you stayed steady and so ever devoted. I can only imagine the Lords heart with you and Chris every time you visited him or sang to him outside his window. What a picture....

You relentlessly did good till the end. And to see the paradox of joy at the same time such pain.

Do good - is my message today and I hope for every day...thank you!😘

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Teresa Jones
8/22/2020 01:54:15 pm

I teared up reading this and thinking about all Chris and your family went through these past few yrs but oh how I needed to read these scriptures and hear what you received from the Lord this morning. Yes, a path forward through all this uncertainty and upheaval when it can be so easy to fall into discouragement and enter into the “world’s” way of acting and reacting. Love you sister!

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Mary Sue Adams
8/22/2020 03:04:17 pm

I can fully relate to grief and loss, and it certainly can blindside you. But your words are deeply comforting today. We are doing good, but we know where Leo is heading. It’s so hard some days to “continue on” with so much uncertainty and so much upheaval around us. But the words “continue to do good” are straight from God’s heart to each of us to keep putting one foot in front of the other and let Him lead us through everything. He is right here with each of us. Thank you for being His vessel of comfort and encouragement! Love you more than words can say. ❤️❤️

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Benny Evans
8/22/2020 06:08:45 pm

God is good! Those three words were John’s last that he texted to our friend Chad Griffis who considered John his spiritual Father and whom John loved as a spiritual son. Three powerful and yet so simple words.

God is good and let us continue to do good.

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Linda Jahnke
8/23/2020 06:07:20 am

😭😭 this hit me where it needed to today. Love to you and all of the family.

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Barb Gowen
8/23/2020 09:25:40 am

I needed to hear this, Tricia. When what I do seems so limited in scope I gain comfort in knowing He is pleased with the good I can do in the place where I am.

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Barbara Nelson
8/23/2020 12:31:47 pm

Tricia, we are so sorry for the loss of your beloved brother, Chris. Thank you for sharing so beautifully. Words so many of us need at this time.
God is faithful.

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Toni Fleischmann
8/23/2020 03:59:45 pm

Tricia, I really appreciated these words. I needed a "reset" myself this week and found it in a lengthy studying of Psalm 18. I like the simplicity of your reset too! Continue to do good.
My father passed away in November and I got to speak with him by phone just about 4 hours before he died. Our last words were also "I love you's". Such a gift and comfort I know. We just we able to have his memorial service on July 29th.
What a treasure you had in your brothers love. God bless.

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Gina Thomas
8/26/2020 03:51:06 am

I am silently crying as I read this.... my heart aches for you and your family, and yet comforted by your brother’s sacrificial love for you even until the end. “Do good” is ringing in my heart and mind as I try to rest in Jesus now. Love you, Tricia!

By the way, Betty looks so beautiful in that picture.

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Patricia B Wooten
10/11/2020 08:47:27 am

Thank you for sharing and I love seeing the family photo. Blessings, Pattie

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    Tricia McCary Rhodes

    Author of 7 books and pastor of Global Leadership Development at All Peoples Church in San Diego, Tricia specializes in helping others experience God’s presence through practicing soul-care.   

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  • Blog
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  • Website
  • CONTEMPLATING THE CROSS
    • Daily Lent Devotionals
  • Books
  • Free Resources
  • All Things New
  • Author
  • Contact
  • Soul at Rest Group Videos
  • Bible Reading Plan